Jersey Devil rides again

It's 5 am and I'm awake  and anyone who knows me , knows that is not me.  ( okay it's not actually 5 am now but I wrote this in my head and didn't feel like schlepping down 2 flights of stairs that early in the AM to get to my computer so bear with me).  I am awakened by an odd noise I have never heard before. It sounds as if it's a far off plaintiff wail.  It was a horrendous noise- especially at 5 am !AHA! I think - the jersey devil! I get up and my faithful  ( but lazy ) companion Jack is sprawled out in the hallway - alert , awake and looking curiously but making no effort to move. I turn to motion to my other faithful companion Diesel and he snores - so much for my guard dog.

So it's me and Jack - everyone else is asleep. I go to bathroom window , look out and see?- Nothing ! It's way too dark ( what was I thinking - we live in the boonies) but the noise continues. Now for just a second I think about venturing downstairs and outside to check this out. I thought about it, but hey- it's 5 am and I  don't do mornings. So I move to plan B like any good investigator  would do - I wake my husband.

" Are you awake?" ( of course he's not It's 5 am for God sakes but polite protocol insists I ask )

He's a good husband so groggily he lies "Yes"

 " Did you hear that? It's the Jersey Devil  I know it. I have never heard anything like that before!"

I guess he was trying to be nice to the city girl  ( or he was being a smart ass as usual but was too sleepy to sound it ) because he said " Maybe I misheard it but it sounds like a Rooster to me"

 " It can't be it's dark" I argue.

  He rolls over , looks at the clock and says " Nope - it's about time for them to be up "

He listens again and right before he drifts back off says " Yup! Rooster"

At that point I start thinking and come to some pretty interesting realizations about myself.  The first thing is that I realize that I have never, ever heard a real rooster. Of course  I've heard what they supposedly sound like through kids  songs but I guess I never heard a real one - especially in the wild. The second point I realize is that I DONT want one . I had  kept telling Donald I wanted a rooster to provide Henrietta with a love interest but if they make that noise at that time of the  day , then Henrietta can live our her life as an old maid.

So the Jersey devil is still at large and I ,apparently have heard my first Rooster  that is not a part of Old McDonald's farm. Life is definitely different out here but I'm adjusting and it's always an adventure. Who knows- maybe tomorrow I'll hear a cow-  in the wild.

The house of magic

So we survived the picnic and everyone declared it a huge success-even the kachooga bugs and the fairies.

 What? Never heard of a Kachooga bug ? Don't worry no one else has either - they exist only at 218 Sooy Place Rd. and in the minds of my children You see we here live in a magic house - one where Mom's imagination makes it a different kind of place to live.

 I know some people don't agree with me and spend their time explaining the "facts" about life to their children so they can take on the adult world some day. Me? I'd rather let them be kids for a bit and learn about imagination.  I think we all  ( adults and children alike ) need a little imagination now and then  so I've decided that our new house will be magical.

 At our house we have Kachooga bugs. While most mere mortals refer to the noisy creatures at night as locusts- we know the truth. They are Kachooga bugs. They are purple with green teeth and after everyone goes to sleep ? A Kachooga bug party enuses  of course.

We also have the magical fairy tree. ( you might have noticed our twisty tree in the back yard ) The fairy tree is where once a month under the full moon, the fairy queen holds court and her fairies have a celebration, so of course full moons here are known as Fairy Moons.

Somewhere hidden in our house is the phone book of magical beings. You get this book complete with phone numbers of magical dignitaries such as the tooth fairy, Easter bunny , Santa clause etc. upon reaching adulthood. It is issued by none other than Santa himself and can not be touched by children. In the rare instance a child were to see it, it would of course , poof away in a puff of smoke.

If when you visited our house , you felt like you were being watched ,pay no attention to the feeling. They were the house sprites that live here. They are not harmful but mischievous little creatures that like to play practical jokes. They move things about and hide things especially on adults who are in a  hurry. They love watching big people run around and scratch their head in confusion.  While both Donald and I have experienced them first hand lately ,I  haven't informed the kids about these guys yet as I'd like them to sleep at night so shhhh. ( I can see it now - MOM!!! THEY'RE WATCHING ME!)

As you can see we've moved to the mystical Pinelands where mere ordinary creatures become extraordinary and magic abounds in the woods. I'm sure as we live here longer, we'll discover more magical beings - perhaps a dragon or some elves.   We might even come upon a chicken that lays colored eggs. So if you are ever feeling down and looking for a little fun - come visit- who knows  what  magic will abound that day - the Jersey devil himself  might even come out to say hi.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, The lovers, the dreamers and me.- Kermit the Frog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thEiXbovv98

 

Picnic Prep Continues

So the prep work for the picnic of the season continues here in the land of Pine Trees. I say the picnic of the season because of the mass attending it. We have people coming we haven't even invited - apparently word has gotten out and some people cant resist face painting and ponies.

Things are not going as smoothly as I would like. One of the major problems is me. I am not Martha Stewart. In fact I have as much in common with her as Darth Vadar has with Ghandi.  I hate cleaning, organizing and I have never in my life made a napkin look like  a swan. Unfortunately I doubt the guests want to play with the dust bunnies and  although I do have lots of animals, I somehow doubt we'll be able to pass them off as Fluffy and the gang - so I guess I'd better get cleaning.

Another problem I see is Faye. Faye is one of those uninvited guests that we aren't really sure if she's going to be town for the day or not. She might just show up. Unlike some people  coming she wont't bring dessert though, she'll bring rain and wind. Should Faye decide to appear - never fear - the party goes on. I will be running to the nearest dollar store to buy as many rain ponchos as I can. They will be distributed on a first come first serve basis so if you hear Faye might be here , come early to get one. I'm sorry no color choices are available.

Hopefully though , we have a nice bright sunny day so we can smell the Pony poop really well , we can get our faces painted , get a balloon monkey made and have a good time.

Look forward to seeing everyone - invited and not ( except Faye)

Getting Ready for a Piney Shindig

As most of you know, our adoption /housewarming Piney Picnic is coming up fast. What you might not know is that we are no where near ready for it.  Oh dont worry we'll get there - we may seem a little tired that day but we will be ready ! Donald has been fixing things and painting and of course as Shearer luck would have it breaking things he needs to fix again.  Now before you  get the idea that Donald is inept, he's not. He does have a cousin Murphy though that wrote some laws and they seem to have rubbed off on him. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Take today for instance, he's upstairs trying to get our bathroom up and trying to put up new paneling ( yes we are pineys and are installing paneling in the bathroom - Get Er Done!) while I was working down in my office. All of a sudden, I heard what sounded like a stampede of wild animals running through the upstairs and then falling. I thought someone had just broken out a Jumanji game but I figured I'd check. When I came out of the office, my husband was out of breathe. Apparently he broke a pipe in the bathroom, sprinted through the house, slid down the stairs and jumped over the downstairs bar with one hand to to shut off the water pump. Damn. I didn't know I married an Olympian.

While he was sprinting apparently he got his foot in some of the wet paint which of course is bright blue and got it on the hallway carpet. No problem - right?- we'll just get the steam cleaner , go over to the sink ,add cleaning agent and ....... NO WATER! Okay breathe in breath out  take deep breathes and move to.....

 -plan B - grab a bunch of recyclables and get ready to drive quickly ( so paint doesn't stain )  to Jennifer's house who lives a mile down the road and get water for the steamer. Just as I grab the jugs and bottles, my office phone rings so I run to get it, slip on the stairs and start tumbling down. I catch myself so I don't hurt myself too badly but I miss the phone. I am now out of breath trying to call my boss back and it keeps going to voicemail. As I look up  I see my new office ceiling that was installed last week has water marks in it  - Try boss again - VM - At this point I know I am running out of staining time so I run out jump in car and call boss from cell phone as I speed a mile down the road. Finally I get him and I am so discombobulated that when I speak I say incomplete sentences- Donald - Pipe Broke - over office - gotta go.  Finally I get water and come home- stains come out of carpet and the potty repair work ensued

Meanwhile later this evening  my well meaning children who want to help take care of the fowl in our yard ( the 6 keets have moved in to a dog run with Henrietta) go back to feed Henrietta and dont quite have the knack for closing the gate quickly . I never did realize that chickens run so quickly - apparently kids didnt either. After calming down the troops about the wayward chicken , Donald enclosed the keets in lock down area 1 so that the rest of the compound could be left open should she return. Apparently she really likes our very active circus here or she's a dumb one but either way she came back of her own accord. She is now safe  once again within the  Shearer Feathered Friends Compound.

I have now asked that a padlock be placed on the compound so children cant release our feathered friends to play the redneck game - catch the chicken.

So as of tonight we have water again , but the toilet is sitting on our front porch and our sink is  in our living room- Welcome to Pineyville.

Crying Fowl!

It's an auspicious day here in our homestead nestled safely in the Pinelands of NJ. It started the same as any other hectic Monday. 4 crazy kids reeling through the house, my mother coming over to do the laundry and to  find things that are wrong with my housekeeping and I was heading  on the long track to Princeton for my weekly meeting. Now I don't mind going into the office but  it does tire me.

The trip each way is long and we usually brainstorm so by Monday evening  I'm shot. This week I actually had to "dress" and no I don't attend the weekly Monday meetings naked but I usually wear jeans and my very comfy sandals. This week we had a potential client meeting so I had to look human with real shoes and all - the kind with heels- that hurt. Needless to say I was tired so I was none too happy when at 5:45pm , my wonderful husband told me I needed to pick up the kids from daycare before they turned into pumpkins( which happens at approximately 6pm). I asked where he was and he said he was out getting my "thing" Now I knew that probably meant the dog run I had seen on Craigslist for my chicken. Poor Henrietta hates being cooped  up but needs to be safe so I concluded she needed a chicken run. - Yes I know very Green Acres of me. Being in the country aircan do that to a perosn

Anyway by the time I got home with 4 squabbling kids in tow, I must have looked absolutely wiped because when I got out the car my husband asked " Long Ride?"

I replied" yes and I just want get all un corporate ( I really do hate dressing ) and be human again"  He chuckled and said " well this is the place to do it"--- That's when I heard an unfamiliar noise.

It started out as a slight Cheep Cheep and grew louder and more intense. I turned the corner into what used to be my sunroom and saw it was now taken over by baby cheeping something. Apparently while I was in Princeton brainstorming, my husband thought it might be a great idea to not only get my chicken run but to also get 10 guinea hen keets ( I just found out tonight that's what they are called)  After all they eat ticks and while I admit I had thought about getting one or two- 10 never crossed my mind.

Needless to say my night was spent calming excited children and getting pooped on for the very first time by a guinea hen keet.  My husband informed me that he didn't really plan on keeping all 10 , he was going to give some  to his friend who has a chicken farm.The problem is how do we decide how many to keep?After reading up on them they apparently are social birds and I'd feel guilty about breaking up the gang.So for now we just add them to our ever growing family.

If you've ever wondered if I am a hick wonder no more because not only did I enjoy this little fowl craziness, my husband informed me while he was purchasing the keets, he also got some fertile guinea hen eggs and fertile turkey eggs for his friend with the chicken farm. Fertile Turkey eggs?  My eyes glazed over and I laugh maniacally -

 Stay tuned for the birth of a Pinelands Turkey!

 

 

 

 

 

More Fun in the Woods

Life down here in the middle of no man's land has been swell. I am getting used to the 14 billion bug bites although I now know that I am not a candidate for Survivor as I would be the first person in the history of the show to be removed due to bug bites. I can hear the conversation now.

" Did you see my daughter on Survivor ? We were so proud of her!" " Oh what did she look like? she was the one removed in the first 10 minutes of the show that was swollen beyond recognition from 1000's bug bites"

I know I know - why don't you use OFF you're thinking? Well I have along with Skin So Soft , Cutter and any other known insecticide made for use on humans (  I have not however tried Raid)  While these wonderful concoctions work for some people , they simply do not for me. It's like adding steak sauce to an already juicy steak. It does not seem to deter the little buggers- they just slurp the stuff off and then bite. My doctor upon examining me just said "welcome to country livin"

So I now try to stay within the realms of my sun porch. Speaking of which I usually go out there at night to read and I have gotten very good at identifying wildlife. Just the other night I heard a strange noise that I immediately identified as the Jersey Devil. I was soo proud of me for being able to identify it that I called Donald out to tell him. He listened , said tree frog, rolled his eyes and went back to watching Home Demolishment or some show like that.

Speaking of which , we are redoing our laundry room. I might have mentioned that before but the project continues.... slowly. Things were looking up last week when my wonderful brother in law came over to help. Hubby and he were working at 7am - they were humming, birds were singing and I took the kids to day camp. When I pulled in an hour later ( yes we live THAT far away from the world) things were not so cheery. I heard grumbling and the distinct sound of a jackhammer. Needless to say my car tried to make a run to Atlantic City at that point but somehow I convinced it to pull in the driveway.

They made some progress on Friday but apparently now we are stuck in some sort of we need permit hell. Apparently because we need pro,we now need an electric permit, a plumbing permit and a blessing from the Pope. From what I understand the blessing is the easy part.

Of course my husband being male and all went down to the construction office to do what every red blooded american male would do in this situation. He made up a story about replacing the stove so we could forgo the plumbing and electrical permits and just get right to the blessing. Turns out good old Bob who used to own our house was a very active member of our community and part of the planning department so everyone in town knows this house ( that is except the garbage men who cant seem to find us until we call AFTER they've picked everyone's garbage but ours and complain ). SOOOO now we have to wait a few days , hubby has to return to building department - say he is married to crazy person who now wants a propane dryer in addition to the propone stove he told them about. So we'll have to start the process of getting the plumbing permit, the electrical permit and the pope blessing anyway. Estimated time for installation March 2009 - stay tuned.

As a side note- Henrietta is home. She was caught in her cute chicken trap on Sunday of this past week. My father being the ever helpful person that he is , volunteered to build  me a chicken coop- he even took my son with him.An hour later - I was impressed - he pulled up with a perfect rabbit hutch that he bought and handed me the bill for.  apparently he overestimated how much fun it would be to build a chicken coop in 95 degree weather. Henrietta is here but not happy as she feels the hutch is demeaning and would like a bigger area. If anyone knows of anyone with a spare coop on their hands or even a dog run , please let us know. We want a happy chicken!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first week

Well as you know we have relocated to the great southern wildreness of NJ otherwise known as the Pinelands. We were fortunate to be able to purchase a home with almost 2 acres that backs up to 100s of acres of nothingness. Coming from Edison ( or as my husband warmly refers to it as - the concrete jungle) I am finding living out here a bit different than I was accustomed to . . The first morning we were here Donald  announced that we had a dead deer on our lawn - I never saw it because apparently 1.either someone scooped it up for lunch or 2- thetownship employees  are highly effective at picking up carcasses here and it was gone before I had a chance to sneeze. 

My new neighbor came over on her quad to introduce herself and warn us of the perils of  Chiggers

 I have learned that chiggers are nasty little  microscopic bugs we have an abundance of. Theyt bite and make it look like you have chicken pox. While there is a rumor that they get under your skin and lay eggs- it isnt true. They instead inject some sort of substance into your skin that produces a bit that blisters like chicken pox . I was told that the only things that help the itch are Tenactin or a product called Chigger X.   My neighbor also informed me that they have a giant bell they ring sometimes to signal dinner however if we should ever hear it being rung like crazy - it means there is an emergency we should respond to ( hello people? cell phones)

 

Kids are getting used to it although everytime one of them gets a tick on them ( which here is quite frequent ) they scream as if they are being chased by a wild grizzly. The second day here there was some deer ( alive) in our yard and the  kids screamed so loud I think I busted an earrdrum - which of course for those of us who love mornings so is always a great way to awaken

 

Tyler is having some problems adjusting as he HATES BUGS and keeps letting us know that , but other than the kids are having fun . they love daddy's new very expensive Kubota and we even each got free hats with it ( yes people I did need a pink baseball cap that says KUBOTA across it )

 

 

The mailbox is a nice exercise routine for me and I find the long walks to get the mail soothe my frazzled nerves from the kids screaming "TICK ". Luckily I have a very large walk in closet that I can see my self having to organize - quite a bit - especially on rainy days when the kids are bored.

 

We have a general store that isnt too far away - 5 miles or so , it has bread, milk , eggss,sandwiches and of course bumper stickers that read " I'm a Piney from my head down to my Hiney"

 

About 3 nights into living here I went out to take my wonderful dog out. At night here you cant see more than a foot in front of you so it was pitch black. We had just walked out when something snorted at me - LOUD . It sounded quite large and was quite close so Diesel and I had a contest to see who could get in faster.- Donald of course thought it was hysterical.

 

 

This afternoon I got to meet another neighbor. He stopped by to see if we had a backhoe because apparently his horse died and he needed to " handle the situation"  and see if he could borrow a neighbors machinery. I have to admit , I am more used to neighbors stopping by to borrow a hammer or see if we had sugar - so the look on  my face must have been priceless.

Anyway, we're working on eliminating boxes and getting unpacked. We're getting there . next projects are the laundry room ( which if it isnt worked on this week by my wonderful husband- I will be hiring a plumber to come do it ) and my office.  Since I work from home an office important - it's whats paying for our rural living space Office currently is intact but has no doors or carpet or paint on walls and since I'm used to some comforts, I'd like that done eventually.