Jersey Devil rides again

It's 5 am and I'm awake  and anyone who knows me , knows that is not me.  ( okay it's not actually 5 am now but I wrote this in my head and didn't feel like schlepping down 2 flights of stairs that early in the AM to get to my computer so bear with me).  I am awakened by an odd noise I have never heard before. It sounds as if it's a far off plaintiff wail.  It was a horrendous noise- especially at 5 am !AHA! I think - the jersey devil! I get up and my faithful  ( but lazy ) companion Jack is sprawled out in the hallway - alert , awake and looking curiously but making no effort to move. I turn to motion to my other faithful companion Diesel and he snores - so much for my guard dog.

So it's me and Jack - everyone else is asleep. I go to bathroom window , look out and see?- Nothing ! It's way too dark ( what was I thinking - we live in the boonies) but the noise continues. Now for just a second I think about venturing downstairs and outside to check this out. I thought about it, but hey- it's 5 am and I  don't do mornings. So I move to plan B like any good investigator  would do - I wake my husband.

" Are you awake?" ( of course he's not It's 5 am for God sakes but polite protocol insists I ask )

He's a good husband so groggily he lies "Yes"

 " Did you hear that? It's the Jersey Devil  I know it. I have never heard anything like that before!"

I guess he was trying to be nice to the city girl  ( or he was being a smart ass as usual but was too sleepy to sound it ) because he said " Maybe I misheard it but it sounds like a Rooster to me"

 " It can't be it's dark" I argue.

  He rolls over , looks at the clock and says " Nope - it's about time for them to be up "

He listens again and right before he drifts back off says " Yup! Rooster"

At that point I start thinking and come to some pretty interesting realizations about myself.  The first thing is that I realize that I have never, ever heard a real rooster. Of course  I've heard what they supposedly sound like through kids  songs but I guess I never heard a real one - especially in the wild. The second point I realize is that I DONT want one . I had  kept telling Donald I wanted a rooster to provide Henrietta with a love interest but if they make that noise at that time of the  day , then Henrietta can live our her life as an old maid.

So the Jersey devil is still at large and I ,apparently have heard my first Rooster  that is not a part of Old McDonald's farm. Life is definitely different out here but I'm adjusting and it's always an adventure. Who knows- maybe tomorrow I'll hear a cow-  in the wild.

The house of magic

So we survived the picnic and everyone declared it a huge success-even the kachooga bugs and the fairies.

 What? Never heard of a Kachooga bug ? Don't worry no one else has either - they exist only at 218 Sooy Place Rd. and in the minds of my children You see we here live in a magic house - one where Mom's imagination makes it a different kind of place to live.

 I know some people don't agree with me and spend their time explaining the "facts" about life to their children so they can take on the adult world some day. Me? I'd rather let them be kids for a bit and learn about imagination.  I think we all  ( adults and children alike ) need a little imagination now and then  so I've decided that our new house will be magical.

 At our house we have Kachooga bugs. While most mere mortals refer to the noisy creatures at night as locusts- we know the truth. They are Kachooga bugs. They are purple with green teeth and after everyone goes to sleep ? A Kachooga bug party enuses  of course.

We also have the magical fairy tree. ( you might have noticed our twisty tree in the back yard ) The fairy tree is where once a month under the full moon, the fairy queen holds court and her fairies have a celebration, so of course full moons here are known as Fairy Moons.

Somewhere hidden in our house is the phone book of magical beings. You get this book complete with phone numbers of magical dignitaries such as the tooth fairy, Easter bunny , Santa clause etc. upon reaching adulthood. It is issued by none other than Santa himself and can not be touched by children. In the rare instance a child were to see it, it would of course , poof away in a puff of smoke.

If when you visited our house , you felt like you were being watched ,pay no attention to the feeling. They were the house sprites that live here. They are not harmful but mischievous little creatures that like to play practical jokes. They move things about and hide things especially on adults who are in a  hurry. They love watching big people run around and scratch their head in confusion.  While both Donald and I have experienced them first hand lately ,I  haven't informed the kids about these guys yet as I'd like them to sleep at night so shhhh. ( I can see it now - MOM!!! THEY'RE WATCHING ME!)

As you can see we've moved to the mystical Pinelands where mere ordinary creatures become extraordinary and magic abounds in the woods. I'm sure as we live here longer, we'll discover more magical beings - perhaps a dragon or some elves.   We might even come upon a chicken that lays colored eggs. So if you are ever feeling down and looking for a little fun - come visit- who knows  what  magic will abound that day - the Jersey devil himself  might even come out to say hi.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, The lovers, the dreamers and me.- Kermit the Frog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thEiXbovv98

 

Picnic Prep Continues

So the prep work for the picnic of the season continues here in the land of Pine Trees. I say the picnic of the season because of the mass attending it. We have people coming we haven't even invited - apparently word has gotten out and some people cant resist face painting and ponies.

Things are not going as smoothly as I would like. One of the major problems is me. I am not Martha Stewart. In fact I have as much in common with her as Darth Vadar has with Ghandi.  I hate cleaning, organizing and I have never in my life made a napkin look like  a swan. Unfortunately I doubt the guests want to play with the dust bunnies and  although I do have lots of animals, I somehow doubt we'll be able to pass them off as Fluffy and the gang - so I guess I'd better get cleaning.

Another problem I see is Faye. Faye is one of those uninvited guests that we aren't really sure if she's going to be town for the day or not. She might just show up. Unlike some people  coming she wont't bring dessert though, she'll bring rain and wind. Should Faye decide to appear - never fear - the party goes on. I will be running to the nearest dollar store to buy as many rain ponchos as I can. They will be distributed on a first come first serve basis so if you hear Faye might be here , come early to get one. I'm sorry no color choices are available.

Hopefully though , we have a nice bright sunny day so we can smell the Pony poop really well , we can get our faces painted , get a balloon monkey made and have a good time.

Look forward to seeing everyone - invited and not ( except Faye)

Getting Ready for a Piney Shindig

As most of you know, our adoption /housewarming Piney Picnic is coming up fast. What you might not know is that we are no where near ready for it.  Oh dont worry we'll get there - we may seem a little tired that day but we will be ready ! Donald has been fixing things and painting and of course as Shearer luck would have it breaking things he needs to fix again.  Now before you  get the idea that Donald is inept, he's not. He does have a cousin Murphy though that wrote some laws and they seem to have rubbed off on him. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Take today for instance, he's upstairs trying to get our bathroom up and trying to put up new paneling ( yes we are pineys and are installing paneling in the bathroom - Get Er Done!) while I was working down in my office. All of a sudden, I heard what sounded like a stampede of wild animals running through the upstairs and then falling. I thought someone had just broken out a Jumanji game but I figured I'd check. When I came out of the office, my husband was out of breathe. Apparently he broke a pipe in the bathroom, sprinted through the house, slid down the stairs and jumped over the downstairs bar with one hand to to shut off the water pump. Damn. I didn't know I married an Olympian.

While he was sprinting apparently he got his foot in some of the wet paint which of course is bright blue and got it on the hallway carpet. No problem - right?- we'll just get the steam cleaner , go over to the sink ,add cleaning agent and ....... NO WATER! Okay breathe in breath out  take deep breathes and move to.....

 -plan B - grab a bunch of recyclables and get ready to drive quickly ( so paint doesn't stain )  to Jennifer's house who lives a mile down the road and get water for the steamer. Just as I grab the jugs and bottles, my office phone rings so I run to get it, slip on the stairs and start tumbling down. I catch myself so I don't hurt myself too badly but I miss the phone. I am now out of breath trying to call my boss back and it keeps going to voicemail. As I look up  I see my new office ceiling that was installed last week has water marks in it  - Try boss again - VM - At this point I know I am running out of staining time so I run out jump in car and call boss from cell phone as I speed a mile down the road. Finally I get him and I am so discombobulated that when I speak I say incomplete sentences- Donald - Pipe Broke - over office - gotta go.  Finally I get water and come home- stains come out of carpet and the potty repair work ensued

Meanwhile later this evening  my well meaning children who want to help take care of the fowl in our yard ( the 6 keets have moved in to a dog run with Henrietta) go back to feed Henrietta and dont quite have the knack for closing the gate quickly . I never did realize that chickens run so quickly - apparently kids didnt either. After calming down the troops about the wayward chicken , Donald enclosed the keets in lock down area 1 so that the rest of the compound could be left open should she return. Apparently she really likes our very active circus here or she's a dumb one but either way she came back of her own accord. She is now safe  once again within the  Shearer Feathered Friends Compound.

I have now asked that a padlock be placed on the compound so children cant release our feathered friends to play the redneck game - catch the chicken.

So as of tonight we have water again , but the toilet is sitting on our front porch and our sink is  in our living room- Welcome to Pineyville.