The Pre -Mid Life Crisis

I'm going through a pre-mid life crisis. I know I am. Perhaps it's because I bought a minivan and discovered I LIKE it! I really like it. I think it has more to do with the fact my kids can get in and out without jumping over seats and putting sneaker marks on the slower sibling's face. It also has to do with the nice electronic doors that now prevent mommy from having to stand outside during the rain holding the door and bellowing " GET IN THE CAR AND GET BUCKLED!"- I can now do that from the comfort of the front seat. Oh the joy. PLUS my van has seats that fold into the floor flat and turn my MINI van into a CARGO van- not so dorky now is it? Won't be if my friends need help moving anything. Plus just think what I can haul home from garage sales.


Anyway right after buying the van I decided I needed chickens. Baby chickens. So I went off to Tractor Supply and surprised Donald with 6 baby chicks. ( ummm he was surprised not happy though I didn't get "permission" ) The kids were excited and named them all. Poor Tyler named the runt Lucky - unfortunately, Lucky wasn't so lucky- not even for a night and now there are 5. They have been residing on my back porch in crate with a heat lamp for the past 5 weeks. Did you know Chickens smell? To high heaven and back - especially when confined in a small warm spot. When you walked in the back you said "OOOOH someone has Chickens" long before you saw them- you usually didn't see them until after you stopped gagging from the smell. They moved out to their new home/run Saturday and are doing well. They moved due to a few reasons - the smell but also because of Monstra . Monstra's real name is Blondie. Blondie started growing quicker than everyone else in the flock She is my favorite and sits on my lap .She is now however about 5 times bigger than the next sized chick and I have been informed by my snickering husband that Blondie is mots likely not a she but a he - as in Rooster. Roosters crow - very early. Me - mornings - Rooster - hence the snickering husband.
Now about the same time the chickens moved in - the caterpillars did too. The caterpillars were Tyler's science experiment courtesy of Grandmom. So you came up the driveway - got chased by Guinea Hen - walked in the back - got greeted by chickens and smell, came in the house and had to scrape two barking dogs off you, go past two fish tanks that are bigger than most people's tubs and make your way into the dining room where you get to experience metamorphosis while dining.All the while - our love bird is serenading you from the bar room. Welcome to the Shearer Jungle. Back to my PMLC (pre-midlife crisis) -For weeks now I have been struggling to figure out who I am. As I was working Real Estate these past few months, I realized that somewhere in the fight for the kids and the adoption nightmares plus the house buying fun, I lost a part of me. Somewhere the fire started to dwindle in me. I was becoming majorly BLAH I also realized now that everything is settled with the kids and the house ( Settled not done - laundry room still pending ) I could start working on me again . I also realized that in a little over a year and a half I'll be 40. So now the goal for 40-be the best I can be. 40 is coming no matter how I look at it - but who I am when I hit it can be changed and so it begins. Goal 1- I am letting my hair grow - I liked it long and no matter what my mother says 40 is NOT too old to have longer hair. I had highlights added and I'm on my way to getting that look under control. Goal 2- get in shape I want to weigh less and be in better shape at 40-so today I started Kickboxing class at my sons' Karate school. Contrary to popular belief I did not do it to mortally embarrass my son - I decided that I have to see these people and I would be too embarrassed if I quit so I have to stick with it. As for the actual class - prior to the class everyone told me how much fun kickboxing can be - after the class I realized that in certain countries root canal is probably considered fun too. One thing is true it does relieve the pressures of the outside world. This is because the only thing you can think of is surviving the damned class. Anyway I'm beat up and sore right now but I'm heading back Thursday AM - why? 1.5 years left til 40!- Goal 3- find out what I want to be when I grow up- this is proving to be the roughest goal yet. Realtor full time isn't working - I can't imagine that working in a corporate office all day would make me happy either. I need a combination of work , inside, outside and some traveling. So after being hounded by 3 of my dearest friends, it seems I am working on opening my own business- I do marketing , business development, customer service training , trade show planning etc so why not do it as a consultant. The plans are in place and we're moving ahead-slowly -(mostly because after that kickboxing class that's the only speed I'm going to be able to go on for a bit.) - I'm attending a seminar next week on starting a business and then we're off and running. The rest of my PMLC has do with me becoming the person I am and not just this shell of a person that has been existing lately. I need to stand up for myself and take charge of my life. No one else is responsible for who I am when I reach 40 and I want to be the best version of me I can be. ( This is almost like the next version of Microsoft after the disappointing Vista version ) Stay tuned as Microsoft and I both try to shine in the next 18 months or so !

the wish list for 2009

Its quiet here. WOW! Donald is at school and my kids are in bed. So I'm sitting here quietly munching on peanut butter M & M's and drinking grape soda ( yes Wynonna can go kiss- Alli has been over for a while- not even so much the side effects, more so I don't have time to figure out how much fat is in my noodles)

I was out on the road today discussing all the things I want and cant afford and she suggested I make a list. I did this last year in Jan and 90% of my "wants" in life came true so I guess it's time to do it again ( albeit a little late).Somehow writing thing down makes them more powerful.

This year I want a big swing set for the kids ( you know you're a mom when that comes first ), my laundry room finished, a jacuzzi, my office fish tank and the play room finished. I also want better health and more romance ( just a quick note for the men - that does not always mean sex! holding hands ,snuggling on the couch, a romantic e-card ,date nights etc all count too). There are of course a ton of other things I could name but I don't want to overload my fairy godmother. I figure once my kids are old enough -I'll be angling for a convertible and an addition to the house that includes a library so I need to pace myself.

I would like to do the Memorial Day garage sales this year kid free with my hubby but I know that's pushing my luck. I am sure there is a DO NOT LOCK KIDS IN CLOSET ordinance down in Mystic.

Like I said , there tons of things I want but luckily I have the important things already - like Diesel......lol

you all thought I was going for my kids, my husband, family and friends didn't you? Come on people! You should know me by now. It's all about the dogs.....lol Speaking of which -let's add puppy to the list...... : ) You can never have too many.

In memoriam

I know it's been awhile since my last Piney update and I apologize. My life is crazy as usual but nothing that needed reporting before now. Sadly last week, last our patron chicken mascot Henrietta passed away. Since this raising of fowl is all new to us, we are not sure if it was the cold or a disease but either way she is gone. My children have assured me she is in heaven watching over us and our home so at least there is some comfort in that. We plan to get some additional chicks in the spring and I can only hope they have half of her spunk. My darling Mount Holly chicken will be missed but never forgotten.

The new life

Well we're half way through January and as I stated last things are changing. My real estate career is going in full force. We've got 2 listings so far and I am working harder than I have in years. 5 out of 7 days I have to be dressed now which I guess is a good thing. I'm working hard but funny thing though is I'm enjoying it. I guess having control will do that. I work for myself (and my business partner ) so I can't bitch about the boss.

Donald is starting school in two weeks. He has decided after all these years he wants to be a rodeo clown. Go figure. No actually he's going to school to get his Multi Dwelling Building Inspector license. Once he's done he's hoping to go work for the state so he can have all of you pay his salary!

I'm having a drink this evening because tomorrow I start the alli diet plan. The alli diet plan is supplement you take that breaks down fats. The way the plan work is you take this pill daily and if you go off diet - you get what they call "treatment side effects". Treatment side effects basically are that when you go to the bathroom - you lose a piece of small intestine and perhaps ( depending on how far off you go ) a piece of your stomach. You also may not be able to control when you might lose a piece of your stomach. It could be during a big party which would be really embarrassing . So the incentive is stay on the diet. I figure I should be dead by Friday but hey I'll be thin. Besides I figure if my only other alternative was to have someone provide shock therapy every time I go to touch a NO NO food. Since I know too many people that would get pleasure from that - I'll try this route. I really don't have a goal weight I just want to be thin enough to be able to pull off a bikini so I can embarrass my children to death ( yes mom I still remember the red dress - I swore I was never going out of the house again )

All is well with children. They are driving me nuts as usual. The day after Christmas as I looked upon piles of gifts, cardboard and wrapping paper they informed me they were gearing up for the Easter Bunny's arrival. Gotta love kids.

The Piney Year in Review

Wow - what a difference a year makes. We started out 2008 high on the knowledge that we had adopted 2 of our 4 children and were well on our way to adopting our other two kids. We vowed we would redo our house but last year in Jan had no idea that redoing meant moving.
February started the whirlwind of house buying process and the next few months flew by ( although at the time I thought I was in a Slowski turtle commercial ) My India trip got canceled ( or rather never scheduled) due to all the excitement going on but I cant say I was too disappointed- I'm kind of fond toilet paper and am not sure I could adjust to 10 days without it-especially in 104 degree weather.

In April we made Diesel an official member of the family by getting him fixed and registered. He was excited but did question why no one else that got adopted got the same royal treatment.
Around the same time, we had our moving garage sale and I got see first hand why selling our home in Mount Holly and getting out was a good idea. About a week later a gas station attendant was killed down the road, further solidifying the fact that we no longer wished to call Mount Holly our home.

In June we finally adopted Hailey and Justin, making everything official. A week later we moved and true to our nature we were running on Shearer Standard Time ( meaning we barely made it ).Of course the move itself was not exciting enough so during the move my hubby backed the moving truck into my car leaving me with a condition known as PBD- ( permanent bumper damage).

The next few months we spent getting adjusted to the house and it's "interesting" wallpaper choices and learning about nature and country living ( dead horses, flying squirrels, rabid raccoons, oh my ! )as desribed in detail in my previous blogs.

August of course was our fant-abulous adoption party compelet with horse poop ( what's a Piney Party with horse DOO DOO ) and in September the schools got to meet the Shearer clan ( although the public schools have not seen Justin yet, - in September 2010- watch the paper for news of a mass retirement by teachers in the TES school district ) Hailey made a new best friend and the Jenny daily report started." Jenny had a skirt on today. Jenny had purple in her hair today. Jenny burped today... you get the picture." We all love Jenny though so meeting her was a great thing !

In October I got to experience the Indian festival of Durga Puja first hand and fully got appreciate how people get trampled to death in India. The Indian culture is definitely one, unlike ours, that does not have individual space hang ups. So instead of going to the altar in a nice neat orderly fashion as Catholics do to receive communion, the Indian people rush for the milk and fruits ( instead of wine and bread) sort of like a people mobbing Bon Jovi in a crowd for autographs. It's intense and I found it best to stay out of the way.

Later that month as the economy nosedived so did my job and my health. Marybeth,wonderful friend that she is, pulled through and helped with Hailey's birthday party creating cupcakes and a cake I wont soon forget. My husband disappeared to a fish cult event and that day and his family wont let him forget that ! Halloween with me sick was less than exciting but we pulled through. ( My witch cackle is not the same without lung capacity )

In November, in addition to us getting a very different kind of president ( a better one we hope) the doctor diagnosed me with whooping cough ( a diagnosis he is not so sure about now ) and my hours at work got cut to half. I did however start to feel better and my house began the Christmas transformation.

This past month flew by with Christmas coming and going at record speed. My job disappeared and my mysterious lung illness reappeared leaving me where I am now - sitting on a damned recliner ( sorry getting annoyed with my lungs ) while the kids nap so they can see the ball drop and wear party hats tonight - Woohoo! According to my doctor who I got visit on an emergency basis yesterday , I have an allergy that is causing me to not breathe or rather cough my guts out so I cant breathe. We have yet to find the allergen causing my distress but I'm thinking Donald may have to start waxing ......... okay went into a coughing laughing fit thinking about THAT expense ( you know I love you dear : ) just teasing )

Anyway it's been a tumultuous year and one I look at sort of like the film the Titanic. It started out with opulence and excitement and ended up in disaster. But like Rose in the Titanic , I will survive- its what I do and makes me who I am. 2008 may be ending a a bit of a low but I have a beautiful family and house I adore and I am determined to make a comeback in 2009.

As they say when one door closes, another opens. I firmly believe that so perhaps losing my job means I have to focus harder on my real estate career and being ill simply means I have to take better care of my health and lose weight. As a wise but unknown man once said
Life's problems wouldn't be called "hurdles" if there wasn't a way to get over them
So stay tuned as I get ready to set sail again in 2009 and on behalf of all of us piney peeps down here - Have a happier year in 2009 than a possum in the corncrib with the dog tied up ( and yes DEE that was just for you !)

Changes at the North Pole

I spent today wrapping presents- Hours and hours of wrapping. I'm doing all this damned work so the Grinch doesn't have to. I think I'm a GREAT wife right about now ( sorry to throw that in but I'm starting to get damned tired)
Now mind you I hate wrapping so while I was sitting there folding paper until my fingers bled - I had nothing to do but muse about some of the changes that are happening at the North Pole....

Because of the ADA ( American with Disabilities Act),Santa has now had to hire handicapped elves. This is evident in the matter in which the gifts are wrapped
(some people are just born wrapping impaired and I fully admit to being one of them)Obviously Santa has put some of his more mentally challenged elves in the wrapping section but we are happy to see he is complying with the federal government.

In order to get into this year's GOING GREEN theme, Santa has eliminated boxes on clothing for persons under 52". The majority of those under 52" are children and could care less if their gifts are in a paper bag ( why are we getting clothing anyway? yeck !)and anyone else that falls into that category is so short they don't need a box to contain their clothes. This (and reindeer poop) is Santa's way of giving to the environment and being cost conscious

In order to cut costs, bows have been eliminated completely. They are over rated frilly things that were only designed to make a cheap gift look more expensive and a complete waste of time especially since children's eyes are so glazed on Christmas morning over they don't see the damned things anyway.


Also, Santa recently announced that there will be class held for all new elves next year in outside decorating with lights. Apparently some of the elves this year did not understand the principle of electricity and stapled through some light strands while decorating and trying to be helpful. There was an Emergency remediation class held late this year as Santa got tired of having to replace fuses.


Finally a memo has gone out advising elves that picking a Christmas tree in the woods should not take more than 45 minutes and certainly not over 2 hours. After spending that much time looking at trees, elves tend to get blurry eyed and are apt to pick any tree in haste which result in trees that looked good in the woods but are in reality quite crooked and half bare when they are erected indoors.

Santa would like to thank the elves for all their hard work this year and promise they will be handsomely rewarded this year at Christmas.( hint Hint)

The breakdown

It's less than a week until my 38th birthday and I know some of you have been wondering why I haven't written anything. I mean obviously waking up on Thanksgiving morning to a completely frozen turkey is worth a few lines. Unfortunately apparently in conjunction with my upcoming birthday I am having some kind of breakdown and have been preoccupied. I have been cleaning all week. I even had Donald help me clean the ceiling fans. I know I know , cleaning is a good thing right? Wrong - Has anyone met my mother? I love her dearly but if I am to suffer that same fate of obsessiveness I say kill me now. Personally I think it's just sort of passing thing - kind of like the flu but with Mr Clean and Windex ( which reminds me I need to go do the bathroom floors). If it turns out to be a terminal condition please send your condolences to Donald - I know what my dad goes through .

We're all getting in high gear here for the big man to arrive ( Santa not my father ). Over the past several weeks I have baked 12 kinds of cookies, made rum balls and fudge. I still have a few more things to make. We're doing a house of rice krispie treats, lollipops and choco pretzels in addition to a few more cookies. To say we're busy is an understatement but we're having fun.

I seem to be having more fun in general this year with Christmas ( of course I haven't attempted wrapping yet - talk to me next week.) I'm assuming not dealing with DYFS is helping that along - that and the picturesque country scenes that abound down here.I'm trying to create a festive time this year not only for the kids but for Donald as well. He's the original Grinch and I'm bound and determine this year to make sure his Christmas heart grows three sizes this year!


It's hunting season this week and the deer are going crazy escaping the lunatics in orange. The hunters are out of control . They now all get in a truck and chase the deer to a fellow hunter who has a gun- its called running ( sounds fair doesn't it ). They are so out of control in this area my neighbor that during this week she has to write HORSE in big white letters across her horses in order to keep them safe from being shot. I mean really -can you imagine this conversation at the bar "Well golly gee , It LOOKED like a deer from that distance- I mean it had 4 legs and all"

On that note, I think we should push for legislation that to make the hunting season more exciting, if a homeowner looks out their back window and can see a hunter in the woods- they should be able to shoot at the hunters. At least that may add some excitement to the sport AND help reduce the population of hillbillies with guns.

Just a reminder for those of you in a generous mood this holiday season and thinking of giving to a good cause, we are still collecting monies to help fund Donald's tropical fish fund. He has an empty 120 gallon tank in my den ( across from the OTHER 120 gallon reef tank )and as you know - there is nothing sadder than an empty saltwater fish tank. So if you loved NEMO send your donations to dshearerjr@aol.com

Talk to everyone soon. Happy Christmas Planning !