As most of you know, our adoption /housewarming Piney Picnic is coming up fast. What you might not know is that we are no where near ready for it. Oh dont worry we'll get there - we may seem a little tired that day but we will be ready ! Donald has been fixing things and painting and of course as Shearer luck would have it breaking things he needs to fix again. Now before you get the idea that Donald is inept, he's not. He does have a cousin Murphy though that wrote some laws and they seem to have rubbed off on him. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Take today for instance, he's upstairs trying to get our bathroom up and trying to put up new paneling ( yes we are pineys and are installing paneling in the bathroom - Get Er Done!) while I was working down in my office. All of a sudden, I heard what sounded like a stampede of wild animals running through the upstairs and then falling. I thought someone had just broken out a Jumanji game but I figured I'd check. When I came out of the office, my husband was out of breathe. Apparently he broke a pipe in the bathroom, sprinted through the house, slid down the stairs and jumped over the downstairs bar with one hand to to shut off the water pump. Damn. I didn't know I married an Olympian.
While he was sprinting apparently he got his foot in some of the wet paint which of course is bright blue and got it on the hallway carpet. No problem - right?- we'll just get the steam cleaner , go over to the sink ,add cleaning agent and ....... NO WATER! Okay breathe in breath out take deep breathes and move to.....
-plan B - grab a bunch of recyclables and get ready to drive quickly ( so paint doesn't stain ) to Jennifer's house who lives a mile down the road and get water for the steamer. Just as I grab the jugs and bottles, my office phone rings so I run to get it, slip on the stairs and start tumbling down. I catch myself so I don't hurt myself too badly but I miss the phone. I am now out of breath trying to call my boss back and it keeps going to voicemail. As I look up I see my new office ceiling that was installed last week has water marks in it - Try boss again - VM - At this point I know I am running out of staining time so I run out jump in car and call boss from cell phone as I speed a mile down the road. Finally I get him and I am so discombobulated that when I speak I say incomplete sentences- Donald - Pipe Broke - over office - gotta go. Finally I get water and come home- stains come out of carpet and the potty repair work ensued
Meanwhile later this evening my well meaning children who want to help take care of the fowl in our yard ( the 6 keets have moved in to a dog run with Henrietta) go back to feed Henrietta and dont quite have the knack for closing the gate quickly . I never did realize that chickens run so quickly - apparently kids didnt either. After calming down the troops about the wayward chicken , Donald enclosed the keets in lock down area 1 so that the rest of the compound could be left open should she return. Apparently she really likes our very active circus here or she's a dumb one but either way she came back of her own accord. She is now safe once again within the Shearer Feathered Friends Compound.
I have now asked that a padlock be placed on the compound so children cant release our feathered friends to play the redneck game - catch the chicken.
So as of tonight we have water again , but the toilet is sitting on our front porch and our sink is in our living room- Welcome to Pineyville.
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